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~ “What fate imposes, that men must needs abide; It boots not to resist both wind and tide” ~

— William Shakespeare

This has got to be one of the most oldest debates in history; right up there with, ‘What came first, the Chicken or the Egg?’ In fact, just typing ‘Fate v/s Free Will’ into Google, yields about 5,860,000 results.

This is also a subject every Tarot reader, from the seasoned professional to the newbie clinging onto the LWB (the Little White Booklet or LWB is the instruction booklet that comes with every deck), has had to discuss in some form or the other. In fact, anyone and everyone dealing with any form of divination – Tarot, Astrology, Numerology, Runes, Tasseomancy, Lithomancy, Palmistry, Pyromancy… even Extispicy (ritually slaughtering animals and reading their organs to divine the future. See the movie Stardust) – has been faced with this question.

There have been plenty of articles, books, and monumental tomes written about the subject that cite everything from Plato to Jung, and even Yoda. Some have been on the side of Fate and claim Free Will to be a mere illusion. Some have claimed Free Will to be the only ‘reality’ and Fate is just the concoction of lazy people. Some have taken the diplomatic route and claimed both Fate and Free Will go hand in hand; while others have debunked both altogether and embraced the theory of the Universe being a product of ‘organized chaos’ (WTF?)

In the midst of this debate is the sub-debate regarding the purpose of divination – to predict or not to predict. If Fate is the only reality, then what’s the point of getting a reading if one can’t do anything about it? If Free Will is the sole reality, then why bother with a reading when we can ‘change’ our futures just by ‘active suggestion’?

Furthermore, this debate has also lead to many readers to ‘justify’ to a client who is dissatisfied about a reading not coming entirely true – Client: You said I’d get a promotion, but I got fired! Reader: Really? Well, you did take plenty of liberties regarding absenteeism. Your choosing to do so was your own free will. Thus altering the result of the reading altogether. So it’s not my fault!

However, before we go any deeper into this debate. Let’s first try an understand the idea of both Fate and Free Will. After all, how can one argue either side of a debate without understanding what both positions truly mean? This way, at least we can make an informed decision and expand our scope of perception.

Fate

Now the term Fate is a tricky subject altogether, for with it has centuries worth of psychological imagery associated with burdens and restrictions. However, let’s try our best to clear our pre-conceived notions and open our minds to a new world of possibilities.

According to the New Oxford American Dictionary, Fate is defined as:

noun

  • 1 the development of events beyond a person’s control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power : fate decided his course for him | his injury is a cruel twist of fate.
  • • the course of someone’s life, or the outcome of a particular situation for someone or something, seen as beyond their control : he suffered the same fate as his companion.

Okay, so this isn’t the most ‘reassuring’ definition so far, but hey, look what’s up ahead –

  • 2 ( the Fates) Greek & Roman Mythology the three goddesses who preside over the birth and life of humans. Each person’s destiny was thought of as a thread spun, measured, and cut by the three Fates, Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos. Also called the Moirae and the Parcae .

Now I love the fact that The Moirae are mentioned within the dictionary itself. To think, a term as complex as ‘fate’ has a mythological figure (or three) to define it. Perhaps if we understand their myths and legends, we can have a better grasp of the concept of ‘fate’? Let’s take a looksie –

The Moirae

The Moirae are commonly thought to be the daughters of Zeus, the mighty ruler of the Olympian Gods, and Themis, the Titan goddess of Justice. However, the myths of the Moirae are even older than those of Kronos.

According to Hesiod, Aeschylus, and Orpheus, The Moirae are the daughters of NYX, the goddess of the night. According to Roman mythologies, they are the daughters of Gaia and Uranus, and were born before the mother-son couple created the universe. Plato claimed they were the daughters of Ananke (necessity or compulsion)and sang in unison of the things that were, are, and to be. Lycophron claims they are the lame daugthers of the ancient Sea (Halos) with triple thread.

However, irrespective of their origin myth, the common consensus about the Moirae is that they were ancient goddesses that sat under a tree (or in a cave). Clotho spun the thread on her spindle that represented human life, Lachesis measured the length of the thread, and Atropos would cut the thread with her shears, signifying the end of that particular lifespan.It wasn’t just the fate of human beings that lay within the thread, but also of animals, plants, and even the Gods. The following dialogue from Aeschylus’ Prometheus Bound says it all –

Chorus: Who then is the helmsman of Ananke (Necessity)?

Prometheus: The three-shaped (trimorphoi) Moirae and mindful Erinyes (Furies)

Chorus: Can it be that Zeus has less power than they do?

Prometheus: Yes, in that even he cannot escape what is foretold.


Upon reading this, I couldn’t help but wonder – if the gods couldn’t really escape the twists of fate, what makes us ego-ruled human beings feel we can as well?

Unable to really find an answer, I decided to investigate more about the Moirae using the best tool at my disposal – The Tarot.

Shuffling my newly gifted Deviant Moon Tarot Deck (an work of sheer brilliance by the amazing Patrick Valenza), I decided to do a three card reading regarding the Moirae – one card representing each sister.

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—————————————————————————

——– Clotho ———- Lachesis ———- Atropos ——–

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The results of the draw were definitely not what I was expecting:-

Clotho – Ace of Wands

Lachesis – 9 of Swords

Atropos – 10 of Swords

Let’s examine each of them one at a time…

Clotho – Ace of Wands:

As mentioned earlier, Clotho spun the thread of life from her distaff onto her spindle. She also made major decisions such as when a mortal or god was born, as well as, deciding which mortal or god were to be saved or put to death (as she ruled rebirth as well). In Rome, she is known as Nona (the Ninth) and is called upon the ninth month of pregnancy. By this, we can see why the Ace of Wands is a fitting card for Clotho, for it is one card that is synonymous with a new birth (Ace – New Beginnings; Wand – Fire, Life, Vitality, Divinity).

Ace of Wands - Deviant Moon Tarot

However, if one would notice, the infant within the card is covered in something that resembles a pea-pod, with it’s head tearing through, but still protected by a thin transparent layer that resembles a membrane. Furthermore, notice, the woman who is holding the baby; her head, though decorated by a green and fertile wreath, is covered with barren trees that are on the verge of dying. The fiery sparks perhaps symbolize the process of clearing the old to make way for the new. Those who’ve had experience on a farm, there’s an old farming practice of burning the fields after the crop has been harvested. The fire not only eradicated all the remaining husk and shoots of the crop, but also re-fertilizes the soil below, providing a ‘fresh fertile’ beginning for the new batch of crops.

However, the trees aren’t yet burned to the ground. Even the woman’s hair is in the form of lush green vines. Thus, a death hasn’t yet completely occurred, therefore the child is still unborn and is still within it’s cocoon.

Perhaps this symbolizes that no birth (or rebirth) is truly a clean-state.

On a mundane level, it may seem to be a fresh-start, as a baby is innocent and knows ‘nothing’ of the world around. However, we forget that we our karmic memories of our various past lives are deeply embedded within our souls. Those memories remain fresh within us at the time of birth, however we slowly begin to ‘forget’ them we begin to develop ‘conscious’ awareness of the world we’re reborn in. Nevertheless, those karmic patterns embedded within us still play a major role as karma is an eternal cycle.

Now, from what I’ve studied about Karma, there are 3 major categories under which Karma falls under –

Individual Karma – The Karma of the individual based solely on his past actions.

Familial Karma – The Karma of the entire family. This is one of the reasons we inherit our parents (and other family members) physical features, emotional, and psychological qualities. We inherit, as well as, contribute to our family’s karma as a whole. (More on this shall be discussed in detail when the time is right)

National Karma – The Karma of the Nation as a whole. The country/region we are born in plays a major role in influencing our karmic patterns. This can be further broken down into racial, social, economic, religion/spiritual, and political karma (More on this shall be discussed in detail when the time is right)

So the baby in the pod could represent the summation of our Individual Karma, while the woman holding the baby could represent our Familial Karma, and the ‘third hand’ holding the wand that’s lit with fire could represent our National Karma. Thus, setting the stage for our birth within this world.

A little interesting fact: Our root chakra begins to develop from the time we’re in our mother’s womb (the third trimester) thus an aspect of our fate is already decided before we are even born within this world. However, we need to keep in mind, this is only one of the numerous lifetimes we have lived, and we probably have numerous more after this lifetime.

I suppose the best way to sum up Clotho is through this dialogue between Oogway and Shifu from the movie Kung Fu Panda

Oogway and Shifu at the Peach Tree of Wisdom

Oogway: My friend, the panda will never fulfill his destiny, nor you yours until you let go of the illusion of control.

Shifu: Illusion?

Oogway: Yes.

[Points at peach tree]

Oogway: Look at this tree, Shifu: I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time.

Shifu: But there are things we *can* control: I can control when the fruit will fall, I can control where to plant the seed: that is no illusion, Master!

Oogway: Ah, yes. But no matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.

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Lachesis – Nine of Swords

Lachesis is the measurer, deciding how much time for life was to be allowed for each mortal or god. She measured the thread of life with her rod. She was known to choose a persons destiny after a thread was measured and would appear with her sisters within three days of a baby’s birth to decide its fate.

Nine of Swords - The Deviant Moon Tarot

When I saw the 9 of Swords appear in the position for Lachesis, my first reaction was, ‘Oy Vey!’ No wonder so many people cringe at the idea of a predetermined destiny or fate; it’s downright scary!

However, Lachesis is also known as the ‘Disposer of Lots’. She instructs the souls who are about to choose their next life, assigns them lots, and presents them all of the kinds, human and animal, from which they may choose their life.

Wait a minute… she presents us with a choice? Does that mean Free Will is a part of Fate?

Well, kinda. But let me explain further.

As we’ve seen in the case with Clotho, at the time of our birth, our Fate is set based on the summation of our Individual, Familial, and National Karma. Based on this, Lachesis offers us various ‘choices’ enabling us to live our lives and fulfill our destiny.

Imagine the journey of your life to be a gigantic labyrinth that your soul needs to cross from the starting point (birth) and reach the finish line (death and then rebirth) where it will receive numerous rewards. Clotho has given your soul all the strengths and abilities to overcome every obstacle, but also weaknesses and blind-spots that you need to work upon develop into your strengths during the course of your journey.

Lachesis appears at the starting line and offers you a choice between two paths. One leads to the East, the other leads to the West. Once you’ve made your choice, you travel down that path facing it’s unique obstacles and hinderances, as well as, receiving the rewards for overcoming them. You then reach another fork in the road, where Lachesis appears and offers you the choice of which path to take. You make your choice and move on until the next fork in the road; and this happens constantly until you reach the finish line, where based on your progress throughout the paths you’ve chosen you’re rewarded.

However, it is only when we reach the finish line, do we realize that all the roads of the labyrinth lead to the very same finish line. In fact, they even had quite a few ‘pit-stops’ in common.

“What’s the point of all those choices if they were going to lead to the same thing at the end of the day?”

Ah, well, that’s where the Nine of Swords comes in.

The advocates of Free Will go on and on about how important it is for us as individual to take charge of their life’s path and create their own universe through the process of ‘active suggestion’ and ‘the law of attraction’ etc, but yet, how many of us really do that?

I believe it was Freud who said, “Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.”

Choices aren’t that easy to make. When we choose something, we not only sacrifice the everything the other option(s) had to offer us, but we also take on the responsibility of what we have chosen. And to honor that responsibility, we need to honor our choice and see ourselves through it in order to make a ‘successful life decision’.

Allow me to illustrate this with an example –

Imagine a girl who is seventeen years old and a junior in High School. She is dating a senior, who is also the captain of the baseball team and is pressuring her to be sexually active with him. Here, Lachesis comes in the form of the choice, Do I make love to my boyfriend and be sexually active with him, or do I choose to practice abstinence?

The responsibility of going ahead and being sexually active with her boyfriend is in ensuring that she is ready physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to take that step in the relationship, as well as, stress upon safe sex practices and receiving the right kind of advise to make her first time a wonderful experience.

The risk is if being sexually active with her boyfriend guarantees him being faithful to her? After all, we all know how senior high school jocks tend to be when it comes to getting laid (and isn’t there always a bitchy cheerleader who has eyes on your man?) Also, is she sure he’s STD free? Is he lying about his sexual history? Will he be good at it or will he be sloppy and ruin it for her?

If she choses to remain abstinent, she has the responsibility of standing firm on her beliefs and not succumbing to peer pressure of any sort. Obviously, she made the choice because in her heart of hearts, she knew something wasn’t right. And hence to prevent that from occurring, she must stick to it.

However, the risk with that is her boyfriend could possibly break up with her for being a prude and not respecting her wishes. Rumors may spread about her being an ‘Ice-Princess’ and thus ruining her reputation. And if she shies away now, will she ever be brave enough to go all the way later in her life? Is her shyness just a psychological issue, and delaying it would only make it worse?

Eventually, the girl in our example will lose her virginity at some point or the other. It all depends on whether she chooses to lose it at seventeen to her hunky jock boyfriend. Or if she would wait till she’s more older and mature and comfortable with the idea. Lachesis will always be waiting for her at each crossroad.

Let’s say, she does finally have sex. However, due to her individual and familial karma, she gets pregnant. If she did it with her high school boyfriend, she would be pregnant at seventeen, and would be faced with the choice to keep the baby and forego her college education to raise the child. If she lost it in college, again decision to keep the baby or forego completing college or giving the child up for adoption or go in for an abortion. And then there’s the decision to tell the father of her child, and choose whether to marry him for the ‘right reasons’ or not.

See how complicated it becomes? No wonder the card that appeared in this position is 9 of Swords, because sometimes making choices in our lives can be a total mind-fuck.

Again, this was just an example, but I just wanted to illustrate how the choices in our lives come with their personal share of responsibilities and potential risks. However, at the end of the day, we need to be brave enough to handle such responsibilities.

However, if we sit back and decide to blindly go with the flow of fate. We live a caged life filled with fear and apprehension. We never get to really experience life. We just witness it and become victimized by our fears that manifest as the big bad world outside.

Yet, at the same time, overanalyzing situations and choices can also be a major bane, as the constant stream of nervous tension and excess worrying about making the right decision can lead to incredible amounts of stress, leading to breakdowns.

So even though from this, Free Will does seem like an ‘illusion’, it is important for us to use it actively within our lives in order to move on and progress further along our path in order to fulfil our destiny.

To quote Carl Gustav Jung, “Free Will is the ability to do gladly that which I must do.”

Ponder about that for sometime, and then we’ll move onto the third card…

*~*

Atropos – 10 of Swords

Atropos was the oldest of the Three Fates, and was known as the “inflexible” or “inevitable.” She chose the mechanism of death and ended the life of each mortal (and god) by cutting the thread spun by Clotho with her shears.

10 of Swords - Deviant Moon Tarot

Why grandma, what a dramatic card you have!

All the better to kill you with my dear!

LOL… Okay, sorry, I couldn’t help myself. But that’s Atropos. There’s really no stopping her. Once she’s determined when, where, how, why, she’s gonna cut your thread, you can bet all your karmic brownie points she’s gonna cut it.

No matter where you are. No matter how far you run. No matter how cleverly you hide. And no matter how much you bribe your way through. There’s no stopping Atropos from cutting your thread. Once it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go. And you’ll die exactly the way she intends you to die.

Does that make her cruel or heartless? No, it doesn’t! And here’s why.

As explained before, this lifetime of ours is just one of the many along our overall karmic path. We entered this life with certain karmic boons and burdens with a special soul mission to carry out throughout our existence. The minute that is done, it’s time to say goodbye. Atropos doesn’t believe in dilly-dallying.

However, our karmic mission doesn’t always have to be some kind of Academy Award winning ‘based-on-a-true-story’ type mission.

It can be anything from raising your children to become wonderful members of society, or even working till retirement and take you and your wife out on an all expense paid trip to Mauii. It could even be dying young of drug abuse or a rare uncurable disease to serve as an example and cause for the world.

Either way, whatever it is. Atropos is gonna cut that thread when she has to.

However, this is another illusion, for life is truly eternal. Your soul will live on, and shall carry forth it’s collective karma and your soul with find (or should I say, choose) a new body to enter.

For you see, the Moirae may seem like three separate entities, but they are truly one. Like various triple goddesses representing different phases of the moon, they represent various aspects of Fate. But all in all, they are the same.

Judgment - The Deviant Moon Tarot

And hence, let’s combine the 3 individual cards we have pulled and discover what Fate is in it’s unified form

*~*

———————–

Ace of Wands

+ 9 of Swords

+10 of Swords =

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1 + 9 + 10 = 20

= Judgment ——

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*~*


I couldn’t help but laugh out loud when I saw this. After all, isn’t this like totally the ‘cliche’ image/card one would think would represent our indomitable unchangeable fate? After all, Judgment is ruled by Pluto, ruler of the underworld, owning the 8th house of Sex, Death, Karma, and among other things, Fate.

High Priestess - Deviant Moon Tarot

However, there’s more to Fate than meets the eye…

20 = 2 + 0 = 2 = The High Priestess
How does the High Priestess fit into all this? Well, for that, you’ll have to check out part two of our exploration of Fate v/s Free Will.

However, here’s a little hint for what’s in store for you. The root of the word Fate is Fatum in Latin. Fatum is also the root word for “Fairy”. Fairy Godmothers?

Love and Blessings

Zorian

PS: I apologize for my absence and my inability to post regularly. However, I’m now back in the blogging-groove, and will post regularly. I can’t wait to see where this leads to. Please do let me know what you think. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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~ “Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it” ~

— Tori Amos

This spread, like most spreads that I create, came to me via a flash of inspiration. In this case, I was inspired by a wonderful blog posted by Oracle Speak, that struck a chord deep within my heart. I call this ‘The Healing Cross’ spread, primarily because like the traditional ‘Celtic Cross’ spread, this spread gets to the root of the issue with which we need healing, as well as, shows us the path we need to take in order to heal. The beauty about this spread is that unlike most healing spreads that are either based on a spiritual healing philosophy (the chakras, reiki, yoga, etc), this is spread is ‘universal’, and can be applied by anyone and everyone no matter what their philosophy regarding health is (or even reading style), and thus allowing us the liberty to interpret the positions in a way we feel best.

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****** 7 ******

****** 6 ******

*** 4 **** 5 ***

****** 3 ******

****** 2 ******

****** 1 ******

CARD ONE: The Root cause of my issue.

CARD TWO: Why am I faced with such an issue within my life?

CARD THREE: What can I do to heal it?

CARD FOUR: What’s helping me heal it?

CARD FIVE: What’s the major obstacle in my path of healing?

CARD SIX: Advice and Guidance.

CARD SEVEN: The Result of my healing journey.

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Now as some of you may already know, i’ve dealt with body-image  and weight issues throughout my entire life. Being born as ‘the fat kid’, I spent a good chunk of my life facing physical, mental, psychological abuse from the world around me, and most of all, from myself. As of August 2006, I weighed 333.96lbs, and well, after 3 years of working on myself, I now weigh 191 lbs. However, I still haven’t reached my goal weight, cause of those pesky last 20 odd lbs (the ones that never seem to go away no matter how much you work on it), and that has lead to numerous frustrations, and even breakdowns of sorts, causing me to binge and totally get demotivated from my path of healing. Plus with my own tendencies towards Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), I tend to become exceedingly critical and depressed with myself regarding my weight. So much so, that my inability to reach my ideal weight and acheive and ideal ‘fit body’ has become quite a crippling influence within my life. And thus, I decided to read on that.

CARD ONE: The Root of my Issue – The Emperor

The Emperor - Legacy of the Divine Tarot

Gosh, talk about ‘Daddy Issues’! Could my issues with my weight be anymore Freudian? (LOL… just kidding). Well, in a way, I’ve always sought approval all my life; not only from my dad, but from other authority figures in the past. And since I’ve never really received the approval that I sought so desperately as a child, I’d end up doing things to self-sabotage my own progress in various areas of my life. In the case with my weight and other body issues – eat and eat all the more as a means of passive-aggressive rebellion.

Along with all that, now that I look at this card, it all has to do me not being able to take an ‘active’ control of my life. At the end of the day, this is MY body… this is MY life… if I’m not able to take an active responsibility for it, then who will? And well, come to think of it, in the past, I have behaved pretty irresponsibly with my body (and other aspects of my life) and on some occasions, I still do. I guess throughout the years I kept blaming everything else – from ‘daddy’, to childhood traumas and dramas, and a whole lot of other things – that I never really stopped to ask, ‘What am I doing about it?’

Plus, since the Emperor is also about ‘stability and structure’, I guess a whole part of my life is so structured on my issues with my weight and body, that perhaps on a subconscious level, I’m holding onto the extra weight (those last 20lbs that just refuse to go) because a part of me is scared on what will I base and structure my life about once I reach my ideal weight? Will there be no major life-goal after that? What will I strive for? What will I yearn to be?

Come to think of it… Isn’t that just silly of me?

I mean, imagine being so obsessed about trying to lose weight and get a fabulous physique, that once it happens, you’re like, ‘Now what do I do?’

Damn my Libra rising for making me so vain (and there I go, blaming away again – must stop the vicious cycle of blame and avoiding responsibility).

Speaking of Libra rising – that would make Aries (The Emperor) my descending sign; i.e. the sign that cusps my 7th Astrological house of relationships and partnerships. And looking back at the past, maybe my issues with my weight were a primal reason for majority of my relationship issues. A shaman friend once explained that relationships work only because both partners are willing to ‘give’ to each other and ‘share’ their lives together. And in my case, everything was so focused on me and my own issues, that there was no room for sharing (Aries is the sign of me-me-me), and hence I’ve come across men who were emotionally unavailable and had too many issues of their own as well, which brings us back to all the seeking daddy’s approval issues again.

In fact, now that I think about it, I’ve always sought after men who were ‘powerful’ and ‘strong’ and would just ‘take care of everything’ for me, while treating me like a princess. And isn’t that just me being unwilling to ‘take responsibility’ of my life?

I guess it’s high time that I start taking responsibility for not just my weight, but for my overall happiness and well being within my life. After all, if I’m not able to ‘take care’ of myself, who will?

CARD TWO: Why am I faced with such an issue within my life? – 6 of Wands

6 of Wands - Legacy of the Divine Tarot

Well, the first thing that came to my mind was ‘to discover I have the strength to overcome it, as well as, anything else’. Now that I ponder about it further, my weight and body image issues have in a way paralyzed me from doing a whole lot of things within my life. I guess in a way, this card is also reminding me that more than anything, I need to believe that I’m not just capable of healing my weight and body issues, but I’m also have the ability to achieve everything I desire. Perhaps the weight and body is just the channel through which the Universe is helping me develop my strengths and abilities. And once I’ve managed to heal them, I’ll be all the more motivated and ‘pumped’ to take on any challenge life throws my way, and ‘ride through life’ with my head held high. So in a way, my ‘battle’ is merely the ‘training ground’ for me to discover and ‘develop’ my ‘light’, and once I’ve done that, I can shine my ‘light’ with joy and pride, and not be plagued by things like guilt, fear, or just plain old ‘irresponsibility’. And if we think about it, health (physical, mental, psychosomatic) should always be a prime concern, if we’re not able to take care of ourselves, how can we possibly take care of anything else? So once I’m able to take care of something as ‘basic’ as my body, I’ll feel all the more liberated and empowered to live life to the fullest.

CARD THREE: What can I do to heal it? – 3 of Coins

3 of Coins - Legacy of the Divine Tarot

Going just by the ‘image’ of the card, take it nice and slow and ‘focus’! This is so fitting for me, because I’ve been through gawd knows how many fad diets n stuff. Not to mention, I go through these bouts where I work out like a dog, pushing myself further and further, and then just crash and burn and not even wanna wake up in the morning. Moderation has always been an alien concept whenever it’s come to my own personal goals. Plus this being a 3 (Empress) of Coins (Earth/Nurturing element), I gotta start learning to nurture and nourish my body with good ol fashioned TLC. So often I’m so quick to criticize and whine about it, that I’ve never really thanked or acknowledged the fact that despite all the things I put my body through, it’s always been good to me. If I truly wish to heal well, and heal wholly, I guess the most important thing for me to do is to be patient with myself along the process. I clearly have all the ‘tools’ to heal, now all I gotta do is apply them with love and patience! Easier said than done? Perhaps so, but hey, I need to start somewhere right?

CARD FOUR: What is helping me heal it? – The Magician

The Magician - Legacy of the Divine Tarot

Wow! Well, when I have The Magician on my side, how can I not heal? After all, isn’t Magician ruled by Mercury, the planet of health and healing among other things? I guess this is again a reminder, that I already have all the skills and abilities to overcome my issues with my weight and other things, I just need to channel them in a productive and empowering manner. Along with that, most importantly, TALK about it. Communicating can truly be a powerful force in the healing process, for once we’re able to ‘voice’ our issues, only then can we identify them clearly, as well as, help our loved ones understand what we’re dealing with, and thus win their love and support. Bottling things up only tends to make things worse, but the more we are able to let things out, and express ourselves freely, the more we’re releasing so much pent up stress and angst that just eats us away to our core. I guess maybe this is why I’m being very candid in my interpretation of this spread. Hopefully my expressing such a deep issue that’s affected me throughout my life, I could gain some source of love and support from all of you who are reading, as well as, maybe even help others who are going through similar issues such as I find comfort that they are not alone, and that by expressing themselves, they’ll find the love and support they need to help them with their healing process.

CARD FIVE: What is the obstacle in my healing journey? – King of Wands

King of Wands - Legacy of the Divine Tarot

Fucking Courts! (lol). Oy, trust a court card to appear here!

Well, now that I think of it, this card in a way could indicate my ‘daddy issues’, as highlighted by The Emperor (plus my dad is a fire sign – go figure) coming in up as obstacles. And boy, do they ever! Especially the bit with self-sabotaging my own progress out of the fear of not being able to handle life without obsessing about my weight and body. And since courts are also aspects of our own psyche, this card indicates that my falling back on the old destructive patterns would be quite a major hindrance in my healing journey. Furthermore, the King could also represent me having extremely high expectations of wanting to achieve the most ideal weight and the perfect 10 body. I so gotta be realistic, and remember that at the end of the day, my own personal health and well being is what matters, not some superficial ideal I try my best to live up to, only to end up losing more than what I bargained for (and not the weight). Also, my need to ‘rush’ through things and see ‘fast results’ would just end up being an obstacle rather than a boon to my healing journey.

CARD SIX: Advice – 6 of Coins

6 of Coins - Legacy of the Divine Tarot

The minute I saw this card, for some reason, I was reminded of the song ‘No one is alone’ from the musical Into the Woods. I now realize that there are people who are willing to help me along the way, to give me the love and support I need, and that I don’t need to be alone in all of this. After all, I’m not the only person in the world with weight and body image issues. Only through sharing, can I not only relieve myself off all the burdens that are more or less self-imposed upon me, but also open myself to receiving a helping hand. And sometimes we can receive the help we need from the most surprising sources.

Along with that, I feel this card is also telling me to be more ‘balanced’ with myself. Taking extreme actions and drastic measures wouldn’t really help me, as they would only throw me off. Starving myself only to binge later on, or working out excessively only to crash and burn later; they just deter me away from my path, making it all the more hard for me to heal. As mentioned earlier, the key is to nurture and nourish myself with love, and lovingly encourage myself rather than be self-critical and exceedingly harsh. Since when does self-criticism ever get anything accomplished?

Furthermore, I just noticed that there is no ‘water’ in this entire spread. Come to think of it, I am mainly an emotional eater, and majority of my binges and other self-destructive habits arise due to various emotional triggers. And even though I’ve come across so many ‘Moon in Taurus’ people who are anything but ‘emotionally balanced’, I need to start becoming all the more ‘practical’ and not let my emotions get the better of me. Exercise plenty of self-discipline within my life, but not in a harsh manner. Self-discipline can be inculcated through loving and nurturing means. Just need to figure out how to do so.

And finally, and most importantly, I need to believe that I deserve this! I need to believe that I am worthy of having a healthy body, as well as, I am worthy of leading a healthy life. Only when I do believe this, can I allow myself to manifest it.

CARD SEVEN: Result of my Healing Journey – Ace of Coins

Ace of Coins - Legacy of the Divine Tarot

Wow! I guess there is hope for me after all. After all, the Ace is the spirit of the element of ‘earth’, which among other things, rules the body. If I’m being extremely optimistic, I would say this card would mean that I will achieve that perfect body I’ve only dreamed about. However, being a realistic Capricorn, I feel this card is saying that once I’ve managed to get over myself and taken full responsibility for my life (especially my weight and body issues), I will achieve a spiritual connection with my body like I never had before. I’d finally enjoy the body I was born with, and finally feel ‘connected’ with it, and most importantly, love it wholly. In a way, this would also indicate me being able to begin a new chapter in my life, where not only am I able to take active responsibility for every area of my life, but where I feel comfortable, nourished, and secure within myself, and not feel the need to seek validation or approval from anyone else. I’d finally be free to be me, and live my life to its fullest potential.

Extra Notes:-

If we check out the elemental balance of this spread, there is an excess of Fire and Earth elements along with a deficiency of Air and a complete absence of Water. The excess of Earth represent things like getting stuck in a rut, lack of stimulation, heaviness, sluggishness, and to some extent, even melancholy. The excess of Fire represent things like burnout,and stress due to excessive pressure. In a way, it’s a combination of the two that cause me to get demotivated along my healing journey. Like mentioned before, I go through bouts where I not only eat scarcely, but also work out excessively. And due to all the self-imposed pressure to be thin and have an ‘ideal body’, I ‘burn out’ and then get all sluggish and lazy, and binge feeling all the more heavy and ‘eh’ about myself and everything else. I try snapping out of it, but it’s like a constant cycle, which now I realize I need to get out of.

The deficiency of Air represents listlessness, fatigue, dullness, stagnation, blocked communication, as well as, an inability to express oneself. As mentioned in the reading, I need to learn how to communicate my issues, and just NOW, I realize that part of the reason I find it hard to ‘talk’ about it, is because I feel a deep sense of shame and guilt regarding my struggle. Why? Well, part of it could be that I was raised to believe it’s not the done thing to ‘air dirty laundry’, as well as, displaying vulnerability is a sign of weakness (all part of my ‘daddy issues as represented by The Emperor). I realize now that such thought patterns and belief systems are truly limiting me, as well as, blocking me all the more further from my own ability to heal. Along with all this, the absence of Water represents me being ever so harsh and critical with myself about every little mistake I make. I so need to relax and be easy with myself and learn to flow with life.

Numerically, the number 6 has appeared twice within the reading (6 of Wands and 6 of Coins). 6 being a number of Harmony and Balance, while Wands and Coins, represent Fire and Earth, the excessive elements within the reading. This clearly indicates a need for creating an ‘inner balance’ in all things ‘excess’ within my life. Also, in Ayurvedic Astrology, Venus (which is number 6 according to Chaldean numerology, and the ruler of my own astrological chart) represents the constitution of Kapha (Water +Air) – the elements that are absent within the spread. So in a way, the presence of the two 6’s represents a need for me to balance and harmonize all four elements within me – Fire, Earth, Air, and Water.

End Note:

Not that I doubt the messages of the cards, nor do I have any qualms with the way I’ve interpreted them. But sometimes, the heart just wants a ‘confirmation’ of sorts from the Universe that we’ve ‘got’ the message it’s trying to give us through the cards.  Especially when an issue is so important and close to us, we just need that sense of affirmation! So in this case, I divine the Quint card, i.e., the Major Arcana card derived by adding all the numeric values of the cards. Since there is a ‘Court Card’ within the reading, I do not include a numerical value for it. Primarily because there are conflicting theories regarding the numeric value of a Court Card (one would make Kings 14, while the other would assign 2), and that would just end up confusing me all the more. So to make life simpler, I choose to follow the belief that courts are ‘beyond’ numeric values, and thus do not include them while calculating my Quit Card. (Yes, I promise in the future, I will post a complete post all about Quint Cards).

So in case of this reading, we have – The Emperor (4) + 6 of Wands (6) + 3 of Coins (3) + The Magician (1) + 6 of Coins (6) + Ace of Coins (1) = 4 + 6 +3 + 1 + 6 + 1 = 21 = The World. And well… A picture can speak a thousand words 🙂

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The World - Legacy of the Divine Tarot

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What could be a better ‘confirmation’ from the Universe than this?

I hope you’ve enjoyed the reading, and I hope The Healing Cross spread helps you as much as it has helped me.

Love and Blessings

Zorian

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All images are from the Legacy of Divine Tarot by Ciro Marchetti.

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