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This is an old skit I had written a few years back. I had posted it on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum, but felt it was time to revive it after all these years and give it a dash of freshness. Now I must say, this is by no means a complete depiction, nor full interpretation of the High Priestess, nor the Hierophant. Everything here is purely fictitious and is meant solely for entertainment purposes. Although, once I did finish it, I realized so much can truly apply to the Tarot, as well as, some of the characterizations seemed to fit in with basic card interpretation. So who knows, maybe through this crazy Tarot parody, someone’s able to learn something new. So without any further delay, I present

SCENE:

The Hierophant and his two followers are religious fundamentalists who are going door-to-door, spreading their ideologies and ‘saving souls’. They arrive at the residence of the High Priestess.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

Loud vicious barks of two dogs can be heard after the knock. The two ‘followers’ are scared at first as one of the dogs sound eerily like a wolf.

The High Priestess

HIGH PRIESTESS:

(Inside the house)

Boaz! Jachin! Shush Up Already! Jeeze, this is what happens when you adopt animals born on a full moon!

(Opens the door looking tired, lack of sleep giving her dark circles, the smeared mascara doesn’t help. Wearing a flimsy robe that although outlines her figure, covers what’s meant to be covered.)

Yes?

HIEROPHANT:

Good morning ma’am. My name is Brother Jeremiah, and we’re from the Conformist Sect of the Unionist Holy Father.

HIGH PRIESTESS:

(Dazed and confused)

Huh?

HIEROPHANT:

We’re going door-to-door, spreading the true and honest word of our holy sacrificial savior, and hopefully get the chance to save your soul?

HIGH PRIESTESS:

(Guffaws)

Save my soul? Honey, I can barely save to buy crystals and incense.

HIEROPHANT:

Which is why, we’re calling in your neighborhood today to inform you that our scriptural texts hold the answers for all the problems of the world, as well as, those that affect your life too.

The Hierophant

HIGH PRIESTESS:

You mean it can give a solution for pre-menstrual cramps and psychically caused crown-chakra migraines?

HIEROPHANT:

Well, we were talking more in terms of problems like divorce, war, sadness…

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Um, aren’t there lawyers for the first, government officials for the second, and Prozac for the third?

HIEROPHANT:

Yes, but through following the doctrine of our texts, one can learn to create a world where everyone is happy, peaceful, and free of sin.

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Okay… I think you ought to go to see Starina at number 17, ever since she came back from that nudist camp she’s been in a perpetual state of optimistic bliss.

HIEROPHANT:

A nudist camp? Why that’s a high level of indecency!

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Indecency?

HIEROPHANT:

Why yes, such acts go against virtues dictated by our scriptures.


HIGH PRIESTESS:

Honey, do you really believe and follow everything written within that?


HIEROPHANT:

Yes, our congregation believes to follow our scriptures word-to-word, without any exception. Within our scriptures we find rules that are both moral and practical for our day-to-day living. Giving us a proper conduct for personal, professional, and spiritual conduct, as well as, a complete guide on how, when, and what to do.

HIGH PRIESTESS:

(Rolling her eyes and muttering under her breath)

Does it even tell you how and when to go potty?

HIEROPHANT:

Beg your pardon ma’am?

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Nothing,

(Covering her snide comment with a smile)

HIEROPHANT:

If you’d give us a few minutes of your time and invite us in, we can give you a demonstration of our scriptural study course, and give you a preview of how you can use our scriptures for your life.

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Not interested and I’m flat broke.

HIEROPHANT:

It’s free.

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Free? Well, why didn’t you say so? Do come on in.

(Leads them inside her house which is untidy, filled with scattered occult/pagan paraphernalia, with incense ash and used candle wax spread everywhere, with too many veils hanging between pillars.)

Forgive the mess, was having an esbat party last night. Add a few drops of E to Temperance’s cup, and she totally flies off the handle. At least I think she’s a she. She’s been through so many sexual re-adjustment surgeries that it’s hard to tell now. And I thought Justicia was a fickle Libra!

HIEROPHANT:

(Sitting upon the sofa, trying to conceal the scandalized expression on his face)

How lovely!

HIGH PRIESTESS:

(Sitting on the bean bag next to the sofa in the lotus position as her iPod begins to play fusion chants)

HIEROPHANT:

(Not amused, but conceals it)

Well, as you know, I’m Brother Jeremiah.

(Turning to his two ‘followers’)

And this is Brother Luke, and Brother Peter.

BOTH THE FOLLOWERS:

How do you do?

HIGH PRIESTESS:

(Arching a brow)

Huh? You all don’t look very brotherly to me.

HIEROPHANT:

As a sign of respect, we call all the men in our following as Brother, and women in our following as Sister.

HIGH PRIESTESS:

So then you marry your brothers and sisters?

HIEROPHANT:

(Caught off-guard)

Well no, I mean yes, I mean no…

(Scratching his head)

… Well, it’s a long story.

HIGH PRIESTESS:

I bet

HIEROPHANT:

Well, before we start, could you tell us your name?

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Oh sure, Astarte Selene.

HIEROPHANT:

What a lovely name!

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Thanks, my mother originally wanted to keep my name as Peggy Sue Smith, but how many people would go to a Tarot Reader by that name? I mean where’s the gypsy mystique?

HIEROPHANT:

(A little panicked)

You’re a Tarot Reader?

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Well yeah, I also do Astrological Charts and Tea-Leaf Readings.

HIEROPHANT:

Why that’s sheer blasphemy! Do you not know that those things are evil?

HIGH PRIESTESS:

(Arches a brow)

So 78 sheets of cardboard, celestial bodies in the sky, and dried herbs from Darjeeling are evil?

HIEROPHANT AND FOLLOWES:

Yes!

HIEROPHANT:

They are creations of Satan, the source of all things evil.

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Satan? Oh you mean The Devil?

HIEROPHANT:

Yes, the one and only.

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Oh honey, he didn’t invent either. Tarot originated in 15th century Italy, and Astrology began in 5000 BC in India, and well, I’m not so sure of Tea-Leaf readings… maybe that came in from China… or should I be politically correct and add the People’s Republic before it?

HIEROPHANT:

Yes he did!

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Um, no he didn’t!

HIEROPHANT:

And what makes you think that?

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Simple, he’s my ex!
(The Hierophant and the two followers scream in shock!)

HIGH PRIESTESS:

What?

HIEROPHANT:

You were married to The Devil?


HIGH PRIESTESS:

Well, no, we were civil partners. Since he had boobs, and yet had a dick, they didn’t find a legal way to classify him as one gender, and with all the issues of the legality of gay marriage, Judgment didn’t approve of marriage between woman and tranny. So hence, we had a civil union. I didn’t see the problem, fat men all over the world get man-boobs; or as the Empress calls them, ‘Moobies’, yet they don’t get stripped of their gender-title! And The Devil wasn’t even fat! His mother just drank a lot during her pregnancy, and was a total flower child of the sixties; hence all the booze and pot smoke led him to that. Don’t know about how the goat-like features came in, but she was raised on a farm, and who knows what lonely farm hicks do when they’re in need of some action. Hmmm, he never did mention his father a whole lot.

HIEROPHANT:

Oh you poor thing!

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Well, not really poor, I hired Magician as my Lawyer, and he sprung a few legal loop-holes outta nowhere and got The Devil to pay me a 6 figure amount every month! Too bad I have a compulsive shopping disorder that makes me spend everything on those tacky new-age stores.

HIEROPHANT:

Tacky New-Age Stores?

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Oh you know the kind? The ones with all the tacky purple graphics with the lame-ass faerie and elf art that’s supposed to give it a whimsical feel, but end up looking all kitschy and gross. And don’t get me started on how they overcharge for their cheap ‘made-in-china’ merchandise that’s filled with toxic lead, ‘cause that is just effed up!

HIEROPHANT:

(Shocked and perturbed)

Well… I … er… am sorry you had to endure being with the king of darkness.

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Well, my first boyfriend Death La Mort actually deserves that title. Seriously, dating a Scorpio is like emotional suicide, with their secrets and obsessive grudges sheesh. The Devil preferred to be called, The Horned One, if you know what I mean.

(Naughty wink with an emphasis on ‘Horn’)

HIEROPHANT:

(Eyes widen with horror, slightly uncomfortable)

Did you live in hell with him?

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Na, Hell was actually a winter retreat for us. In the summer it’s unbearable! Gives me blisters on my sensitive milky skin. Rest of the time, we lived at Hermits estate in the valley. He spends almost all his time locked away at the top of that mountain of his, that he hardly stays at home. I believe that mountain is called Brokeback.

THE TWO FOLLOWERS:

(Looking at the Hierophant)

Isn’t that the same place you go to fish every summer…

HIEROPHANT:

(Shushing his followers, trying his best to maintain his composure, and then turning to the High Priestess)

Please… do go on.

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Yeah, it was fun at first. He was like a horny old goat, although he suffered from premature arthritis, hence I had to be on top most of the time, which is fine by me, but I only wish he took some calcium and vitamin D supplements once in a while, as he never went out during sunlight hours.

HIEROPHANT:

Because the glorious radiant light of the sun would eliminate him?

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Oh please! Do you really believe that old-wives-tale? That’s as ridiculous as a bucket of water melting a witch! No, he just didn’t like going out when the sun was out, because the couple next door, ‘The Lovers’, they had an irritating infant child who rode on his pet pony all day long in the backyard, belting away songs of happiness and joy. He loved the sunlight so much, that they named him The Sun. Though he was cute n all, he so totally got on your nerves, and there was no shutting him up!

HIEROPHANT:

Um… I see.

HIGH PRIESTESS:

So after the first few years, he began revealing his true sides.

HIEROPHANT:

His evil side?

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Well, I wouldn’t call it evil. More like possessive, needy, narcissistic, and down right chauvinistic. The sex was fantastic, a lil fur at the right spots can really turn a girl on, but when he began with the chains and whips and all, it got all freaky. I had to draw the line when he bought in the couple next door, The Lovers, as his BDSM slaves!

HIEROPHANT:

(Jaw drops in horror)

Um… I think we ought to leave now.

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Already? I thought you guys would give me a free demo or something?

HIEROPHANT:

Um.. I … er.. well, we just remembered that we had an urgent meeting. Something about an impressionable young woman and her rather questionable relationship with her pet lion.

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Oh you mean Fortitudia!

HIEROPHANT:

You know her?

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Oh totally, well, we dated during sophomore year at Arcana U. Not that I’m lez or anything, but you know how we all just like to experiment a bit during college. I was having a fling with The Charioteer, mainly because of his fancy chariot. Oh don’t gimme that look! I was 19, and well, what can I say? Chicks dig a good ride! So while things were all fun, he became exceedingly clingy and always compared me to his mother. (Sigh) Cancer men and their mothers! Talk about one Freudian mess. Meanwhile, Fortitudia was having a tryst with a Yoga Instructor – I don’t remember his name, but he kept ‘hanging’ upside down all the time. Claimed doing so improved his sex drive. We all four met at this rave at this old nightclub called ‘The Spinning Wheel’, and one thing led to another, and what started out as just innocent girl-on-girl grind action on the dance floor, led to us dumping our respective flings and indulging in a two-year intense lezzie r/s. It was all fun at first, but … well, let’s just say I’m the kinda girl that shops Manolo’s and Choo’s, while she’s more of a Outdoor Haven and Home Depot kinda girl. She did love her pet lion though. A bit too much. Come to think of it, I did wonder why the lion got more love than I.

HIEROPHANT:

(Making a squeamish smile)

How lovely! Well, we best be going.

(He and the two followers hurry out the door).

HIGH PRIESTESS:

(Calling out to them as they head out to the sidewalk)

When will I get my free demo?

HIEROPHANT:

Don’t call us, we’ll come-a-knocking!

HIGH PRIESTESS:

Coolies!

(The Hierophant and his two followers run to the final home down the lane)


THE FOLLOWERS:

(Huffing and puffing, trying to catch their breath)

Whew!… That… was… so twisted!

(The two followers agree by nodding)

HIEROPHANT:

(Composing himself)

Let’s hope we have better luck here (knocks on the door).

(A skeleton in black armor answers the door)

DEATH:

Yes?

HIEROPHANT:

Um… I think we got the wrong house…

(turning to run)

………………

THE END!

……………..

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~ “Only do what your heart tells you.” ~

— Princess Diana

As mentioned in the post, Fucking Courts, court cards are one of the most controversial, as well as, confusing, overwhelming, and overall-stress-inducing modes of a Tarot Deck. Primarily, Court Cards either represent an aspect of us (the seeker) or someone within our lives, particularly someone upon whom we’ve ‘projected’ that part of our personality. However, they can also symbolize timing, qualities to embody, spiritual guides, and even events and situations coming into existence; thus making them all the more complicated to interpret.

The Court of Cups tend to be in touch with subtle emotions, deep feelings, and the nuances of life that others may not catch onto. They ‘feel’ their environment so powerfully that they can pick up on a lot of what’s going on underneath people’s interactions. Often they are more in touch with fear, sadness, and the deepest sensations of love, passion, and desire. Due to their incredible intuitive and psychic abilities, they get overloaded by the intensity of life and hence need a lot of quiet time to themselves to find peace. They need help defining themselves and their boundaries so that they don’t lose themselves to other’s needs.

The following are a list of keywords for the Court of Cups. These keywords are not to be relied on as crutches, but as creative springboards for us to develop our own interpretation and understanding of not just each card, but the Court of Cups on its whole. And let’s face it, sometimes relating court cards with Celebrities does help.

  • King of Cups

Ryan Gosling - King of Cups

    • Element: Air of Water
    • Astrology: Fixed Water – Scorpio
    • Chart Position: 20 Libra to 20 Scorpio
    • Dates: October 13th to November 12th
    • Qabalah: Tiphareth (Beauty) in Briah (Soul)
    • Decans:
      • First Decan: Jupiter in Libra – 4 of Swords – 20 Libra to 30 Libra
      • Second Decan: Mars in Scorpio – 5 of Cups – 0 Scorpio to 10 Scorpio
      • Third Decan: Sun in Scorpio – 6 of Cups – 10 Scorpio to 20 Scorpio
    • MBTI: ENFJ (Extraverted Intuitive Feeling Judging)
    • KTS: The Teacher
    • Celebrity Examples: Calvin Klein. Dylan McDermott. Pablo Picasso. Leonardo DiCaprio. Joaquin Phoenix. Ryan Gosling. Gavin Rossdale.
    • Positive Keywords: Consideration. Understanding. Dignity. Protectiveness. Passion.
    • Negative Keywords: Obsession. Paranoia. Nihilism. Duplicitous. Sleaziness.
    • Career Choices: Health Care/Medicine. Ministry. Therapist/Counselor. Education. Fine Arts. Scientists. Research and Development. Customer Service. The Navy. Private Investigation.
    • Sport and Recreation: Weights. Iyengar Yoga. Kick-Boxing. Pilates. Swimming. All things where one can channel their intensity and devotion.
    • Affirmation: I am safe. It is safe to feel. My feelings are normal and acceptable. I honor and value my feelings and express them freely.

*~*

~*~

  • Queen of Cups

Liv Tyler - Queen of Cups

    • Element: Water of Water
    • Astrology: Cardinal Water – Cancer
    • Chart Position: 20 Gemini to 20 Cancer
    • Dates: June 11th to July11th
    • Qabalah: Binah (Understanding) in Briah (Soul)
    • Decans:
      • First Decan: Sun in Gemini – 10 of Swords – 20 Gemini to 30 Gemini
      • Second Decan: Venus in Cancer – 2 of Cups – 0 Cancer to 10 Cancer
      • Third Decan: Mercury in Cancer – 3 of Cups – 10 Cancer to 20 Cancer
    • MBTI: INFJ (Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging)
    • KTS: The Counselor
    • Celebrity Examples: Princess Diana. Meryl Streep. Angelica Houston. Cyndi Lauper. Helen Keller. Liv Tyler. Debbie Harry.
    • Positive Keywords: Receptiveness. Caring. Nurturing. Empathy. Musing.
    • Negative Keywords: Hypersensitivity. Fluctuating Moods. Irrational. Manipulation. Self-Pity.
    • Career Choices: Psychic. Healer. Nurse/Medical Assistance. Arts and Crafts. Interior Decorator. Designer. Social Worker. Counselor/Therapist. Chef. Acting.
    • Sport & Recreation: Swimming. Tantra Yoga. Pilates. Running. Rowing. All things that help one to flow with life.
    • Affirmation: I nourish and nurture the world around me with an open heart and an open soul.

*~*

~*~

  • Knight of Cups

Jensen Ackles - Knight of Cups

    • Element: Fire of Water
    • Astrology: Mutable Water – Pisces
    • Chart Position: 20 Aquarius to 20 Pisces
    • Dates: February 9th to March 10th
    • Qabalah: Chokmah (Wisdom) in Briah (Soul)
    • Decans:
      • First Decan: Moon in Aquarius – 7 of Swords – 20 Aquarius to 30 Aquarius
      • Second Decan: Saturn in Pisces  – 8 of Cups – 0 Pisces to 10 Pisces
      • Third Decan: Jupiter in Pisces – 9 of Cups – 10 Pisces to 20 Pisces
    • MBTI: ENFP (Extraverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving)
    • KTS: The Champion
    • Celebrity Examples: Alexander Graham Bell. Daniel Craig. Jensen Ackles. Sidney Poitier. Jon Bon Jovi. Freddie Prinze Jr. Josh Groban.
    • Positive Keywords: Creative. Chivalrous. Romantic. Gallant. Charming.
    • Negative Keywords: Flighty. Impractical. Escapism. Illusionary. Addictions.
    • Career Choices: The Arts. Higher Education. Organizational and Personal Development. Public Relations. Catering. Film & Television. Bartender. Hospitality (Food & Drink Department). Musician. Song-Writer/Poet.
    • Sport and Recreation: Dancing. Gymnastics. Surfing. Ananda Yoga. Tai Chi. Anything that’s playful and fun and nurtures and nourishes the body.
    • Affirmation: I move forward with joy for I experience love wherever I go.

*~*

~*~

  • Page of Cups

Dakota Fanning - Page of Cups

    • Element: Earth of Water
    • Astrology: The Libra/Scorpio/Sagittarius Quadrant of the Zodiac
    • Chart Position: 0 Libra to 30 Sagittarius
    • Dates: September 23rd to November 22nd
    • Qabalah: Malkuth (Kingdom) in Briah (Soul)
    • MBTI: INFP (Introverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving)
    • KTS: The Healer
    • Celebrity Examples: Dakota Fanning. Jaden Smith. Freddie Highmore. Emily Osment. Kevin Jonas. Lindsay Lohan. Kristen Bell.
    • Positive Keywords: Sympathetic. Tender. Intuitive. Aesthetic. Affectionate.
    • Negative Keywords: Naïve. Indolent. Promiscuous. Fluffy-Bunny. Daydreaming.
    • Career Choices: Student of the Arts and Humanities. Social Work. Healer. Psychic. Puppetry. Writing and Poetry. Acting. Non-Profit Organizations. Volunteer services. Design Student.
    • Sport & Recreation: Surfing. Scuba-Diving. Swimming. Yoga. Gymnastics. Anything that’s fun, and enables them to find emotional release.
    • Affirmation: I am not afraid of dreaming big, for my dreams have the power to shape my reality.

Hope you enjoyed the Keywords for the Court of Cups.

Love and Blessings

Zorian

~ “A world ends when its metaphor has died.” ~

— Archibald MacLeish

According to Dictionary.com, A metaphor is a figure of speech in which a word or phrase that ordinarily designates one thing is used to designate another, thus making an implicit comparison. It is also applied to something to which it is not literally applicable in order to suggest a resemblance. “All the world’s a stage”

In her book, 21 Ways to Read a Tarot Card, Mary K Greer states that “Tarot imparts information via symbol and metaphor – the stock-in-trade of a reading. Metaphors express what cannot be told in any other way, prompting pictures that trigger the imagistic unconscious mind and bypass the critical conscious mind. As a basic mechanism for understanding our experience, metaphors convey in very few words the essence of a card meaning by evoking emotions, sensations, and memories.”

In other words, we tend to experience metaphors on a physical, emotional, mental, and sometimes even spiritual level. For example, with a phrase like, “The Boy Next Door”, we imagine a young boy in his late teens to early twenties, with the most dreamiest smile ever. A slight blush appears on our cheeks as our lips curl into a shy yet naughty grin, and for some reason, no matter how old we are, we still feel like a young girl crushing away. However, with a phrase like, “Prima Donna”, immediately roll our eyes as we imagine this beautiful yet over-the-top-drama-queen that believes the world revolves around her, and everything that happens is always all about her.

So in this step, we learn how to access symbolic information embedded in cliches, aphorisms, puns, song lyrics, proverbs, and even movie quotes; for they can evoke personal experiences and trigger remembrances that vary from person to person and change with changing circumstances, but can serve us very well when reading a Tarot Card. For example, “I was your fortress you had to burn” from Madonna’s Power of Goodbye can so be used for “The Tower”. Or the phrase, “Crying over spilled milk” is so very “5 of Cups”.

So without any further delay, let us list as many metaphors we can with our chosen card – The 6 of Swords

6 of Swords - Legacy of the Divine Tarot

6 of Swords

Go with the flow

~

Obstacle Course

~

Piercing Depths

~

Sailing through troubled waters

~

Labyrinth of the human mind

~

Moving to calmer waters

~

Guiding Light

~

Navigating by Heart-Light

(Suggested by Lisa Lloyd)

~

Ripple-Effect/Ripples in Time

~

Leaving on a Jet-Plane

(Suggested by Submerina)

~

Like a bridge over troubled waters

(Suggested by Submerina)

~

The Windmills of the Mind

(Suggested by Helen)

~

How do we use metaphors to understand the card better, and also apply it to our reading? Well, the best example I can cite is my own personal experience with not just the 6 of Swords, but with exploring all the various steps within my journey. As mentioned in Step 1, the card chose me, I didn’t choose the card. So in a way, the message I got from the card was –

“I shall be your guiding light throughout your journey. I shall help you sail through the troubled waters within the labyrinth of your human mind.”

Pretty cool huh?

Can you think of some more metaphors for the 6 of Swords?

Can you think of some metaphors for your chosen card?

Give it a try, and have as much fun as you can :D.

Love and Blessings

Zorian

~ “I am tough, ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch. Okay” ~

— Madonna

As mentioned in the post, Fucking Courts, court cards are one of the most controversial, as well as, confusing, overwhelming, and overall-stress-inducing modes of a Tarot Deck. Primarily, Court Cards either represent an aspect of us (the seeker) or someone within our lives, particularly someone upon whom we’ve ‘projected’ that part of our personality. However, they can also symbolize timing, qualities to embody, spiritual guides, and even events and situations coming into existence; thus making them all the more complicated to interpret.

The Court of Wands tend to be robust, creative, expressive and dynamic individuals. There is a spark to these people, and they are often the initiators and the visionaries in our environment. They have an almost childlike desire to be admired and appreciated and may wither if they are not given love and attention. In a way, they channel the heat and essential divine sparks of life, and their prime objective is to direct this energy in creative, and not destructive manners. If the latter, then they end up becoming childish, petulant, and argumentative; leading them to be egotistical, bratty, and excessively domineering.

The following are a list of keywords for the Court of Wands. These keywords are not to be relied on as crutches, but as creative springboards for us to develop our own interpretation and understanding of not just each card, but the Court of Wands on its whole. And let’s face it, sometimes relating court cards with Celebrities does help.

  • King of Wands

Eric Bana - King of Wands

    • Element: Air of Fire
    • Astrology: Fixed Fire – Leo
    • Chart Position: 20 Cancer to 20 Leo
    • Dates: July 12th to August 11th
    • Qabalah: Tiphareth (Beauty) in Atziluth (Spirit)
    • Decans:
      • First Decan: Moon in Cancer – 4 of Cups – 20 Cancer to 30 Cancer
      • Second Decan: Saturn in Leo – 5 of Wands – 0 Leo to 10 Leo
      • Third Decan: Jupiter in Leo – 6 of Wands – 10 Leo to 20 Leo
    • MBTI: ENTJ (Extraverted Intuitive Thinking Judging)
    • KTS: The Fieldmarshal
    • Celebrity Examples: Ben Affleck. Edward Norton. Antonio Banderas. Eric Bana. Dustin Hoffman. Barack Obama. Julian McMahon.
    • Positive Keywords: Warmth. Generosity. Nobility. Strength. Leadership.
    • Negative Keywords: Arrogance. Vanity. Tyranny. Haughtiness. Egotism.
    • Career Choices: Actor. Entrepreneur. Cardiologist. Director. General Manager. Master of Ceremonies/Host. Publicist. Marketer. Spokesperson. Politician. Professor.
    • Sport and Recreation: Cardio. Boxing. Martial Arts. Tennis. Basketball. As long as it’s rigorous and they can show off that they can do it best.
    • Affirmation: My Will is Strong. My Heart is Big. I win the world with generosity and humility.

*~*

~*~

  • Queen of Wands

Reece Witherspoon - Queen of Wands

    • Element: Water of Fire
    • Astrology: Cardinal Fire – Aries
    • Chart Position: 20 Pisces to 20 Aries
    • Dates: March 11th to April 10th
    • Qabalah: Binah (Understanding) in Atziluth (Spirit)
    • Decans:
      • First Decan: Mars in Pisces – 10 of Cups – 20 Pisces to 30 Pisces
      • Second Decan: Mars in Aries – 2 of Wands – 0 Aries to 10 Aries
      • Third Decan: Sun in Aries – 3 of Wands – 10 Aries to 20 Aries
    • MBTI: INTJ (Introverted Intuitive Thinking Judging)
    • KTS: The Mastermind
    • Celebrity Examples: Reese Witherspoon. Sarah Jessica Parker. Fergie. Rosie O’Donnell. Kiera Knightley. Bette Davis. Joan Crawford.
    • Positive Keywords: Ambition. Popularity. Passion. Vivacity. Independence.
    • Negative Keywords: Selfishness. Thoughtlessness. Self-Centered. Ruthlessness. Jealousy.
    • Career Choices: Entrepreneur. Dentist. Entertainer. Hairstylist. Make-Up Artist. Producer. Ophthalmologist. Neurologist. Performance Artist. Pro-Athlete.
    • Sport & Recreation: Running. Spinning. Strip-aerobics. Dancing (especially Salsa). Aerobics. All things that make them burn out and feel hot after showering;
    • Affirmation: The divine spark within me is powerful enough to illuminate the world with love.

*~*

~*~

  • Knight of Wands

Jake Gyllenhaal - Knight of Wands

    • Element: Fire of Fire
    • Astrology: Mutable Fire – Sagittarius
    • Chart Position: 20 Scorpio to 20 Sagittarius
    • Dates: November 13th to December 12th
    • Qabalah: Chokmah (Wisdom) in Atziluth (Spirit)
    • Decans:
      • First Decan: Venus in Scorpio – 7 of Cups – 20 Scorpio to 30 Scorpio
      • Second Decan: Mercury in Sagittarius – 8 of Wands – 0 Sagittarius to 10 Sagittarius
      • Third Decan: Moon in Sagittarius – 9 of Wands – 10 Sagittarius to 20 Sagittarius
    • MBTI: ENTP (Extraverted Intuitive Thinking Perceiving)
    • KTS: The Inventor
    • Celebrity Examples: Jake Gyllenhaal. Ben Stiller. Billy Idol. Brendan Fraser. Dick Clark. Jeff Bridges. John Kennedy Jr.
    • Positive Keywords: Confidence. Vision. Spontaneous. Dynamic. Enthusiastic.
    • Negative Keywords: Unfocused. Unpredictable. Destructive. Seething. Callous.
    • Career Choices: Writer. Crusader. Lecturer. Salesman. Pro-Athlete. Race Car Driver. Paramedic. Cowboy. Union Leader. Journalist. Explorer.
    • Sport and Recreation: Skydiving. Rock climbing. Hiking. Racing. Horse riding. All forms of competitive and extreme sport that’s outdoors.
    • Affirmation: I explore the world with courage and strength, illuminating the darkest areas with the divine light within me.

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  • Page of Wands

Miley Cyrus - Page of Wands

    • Element: Earth of Fire
    • Astrology: The Cancer/Leo/Virgo Quadrant of the Zodiac
    • Chart Position: 0 Cancer to 30 Virgo
    • Dates: June 21st to September 22nd
    • Qabalah: Malkuth (Kingdom) in Atziluth (Spirit)
    • MBTI: INTP (Introverted Intuitive Thinking Perceiving)
    • KTS: The Architect
    • Celebrity Examples: Frankie Muniz. Miley Cyrus. Joe Jonas. Demi Lovato. Rumer Willis. Dylan and Cole Sprouse.
    • Positive Keywords: Daring. Optimistic. Exciting. Resourceful. Cheerful.
    • Negative Keywords: Rashness. Dismissive. Curt. Braggart.  Prima Donna.
    • Career Choices: Student. Apprentice. Journalist. Fame-ho. Amateur Athlete. Talent Show Junkie. Star-Child.
    • Sport & Recreation: Jazzercise. Spinning. Beach Volleyball. Martial Arts. Soccer. Anything to work up a sweat and tire them out.
    • Affirmation: The more I learn, the more I grow, the more the divine spark within me burns.

Hope you enjoyed the Keywords for the Court of Wands.

Love and Blessings

Zorian

The Healing Cross Spread

~ “Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it” ~

— Tori Amos

This spread, like most spreads that I create, came to me via a flash of inspiration. In this case, I was inspired by a wonderful blog posted by Oracle Speak, that struck a chord deep within my heart. I call this ‘The Healing Cross’ spread, primarily because like the traditional ‘Celtic Cross’ spread, this spread gets to the root of the issue with which we need healing, as well as, shows us the path we need to take in order to heal. The beauty about this spread is that unlike most healing spreads that are either based on a spiritual healing philosophy (the chakras, reiki, yoga, etc), this is spread is ‘universal’, and can be applied by anyone and everyone no matter what their philosophy regarding health is (or even reading style), and thus allowing us the liberty to interpret the positions in a way we feel best.

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****** 7 ******

****** 6 ******

*** 4 **** 5 ***

****** 3 ******

****** 2 ******

****** 1 ******

CARD ONE: The Root cause of my issue.

CARD TWO: Why am I faced with such an issue within my life?

CARD THREE: What can I do to heal it?

CARD FOUR: What’s helping me heal it?

CARD FIVE: What’s the major obstacle in my path of healing?

CARD SIX: Advice and Guidance.

CARD SEVEN: The Result of my healing journey.

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Now as some of you may already know, i’ve dealt with body-image  and weight issues throughout my entire life. Being born as ‘the fat kid’, I spent a good chunk of my life facing physical, mental, psychological abuse from the world around me, and most of all, from myself. As of August 2006, I weighed 333.96lbs, and well, after 3 years of working on myself, I now weigh 191 lbs. However, I still haven’t reached my goal weight, cause of those pesky last 20 odd lbs (the ones that never seem to go away no matter how much you work on it), and that has lead to numerous frustrations, and even breakdowns of sorts, causing me to binge and totally get demotivated from my path of healing. Plus with my own tendencies towards Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), I tend to become exceedingly critical and depressed with myself regarding my weight. So much so, that my inability to reach my ideal weight and acheive and ideal ‘fit body’ has become quite a crippling influence within my life. And thus, I decided to read on that.

CARD ONE: The Root of my Issue – The Emperor

The Emperor - Legacy of the Divine Tarot

Gosh, talk about ‘Daddy Issues’! Could my issues with my weight be anymore Freudian? (LOL… just kidding). Well, in a way, I’ve always sought approval all my life; not only from my dad, but from other authority figures in the past. And since I’ve never really received the approval that I sought so desperately as a child, I’d end up doing things to self-sabotage my own progress in various areas of my life. In the case with my weight and other body issues – eat and eat all the more as a means of passive-aggressive rebellion.

Along with all that, now that I look at this card, it all has to do me not being able to take an ‘active’ control of my life. At the end of the day, this is MY body… this is MY life… if I’m not able to take an active responsibility for it, then who will? And well, come to think of it, in the past, I have behaved pretty irresponsibly with my body (and other aspects of my life) and on some occasions, I still do. I guess throughout the years I kept blaming everything else – from ‘daddy’, to childhood traumas and dramas, and a whole lot of other things – that I never really stopped to ask, ‘What am I doing about it?’

Plus, since the Emperor is also about ‘stability and structure’, I guess a whole part of my life is so structured on my issues with my weight and body, that perhaps on a subconscious level, I’m holding onto the extra weight (those last 20lbs that just refuse to go) because a part of me is scared on what will I base and structure my life about once I reach my ideal weight? Will there be no major life-goal after that? What will I strive for? What will I yearn to be?

Come to think of it… Isn’t that just silly of me?

I mean, imagine being so obsessed about trying to lose weight and get a fabulous physique, that once it happens, you’re like, ‘Now what do I do?’

Damn my Libra rising for making me so vain (and there I go, blaming away again – must stop the vicious cycle of blame and avoiding responsibility).

Speaking of Libra rising – that would make Aries (The Emperor) my descending sign; i.e. the sign that cusps my 7th Astrological house of relationships and partnerships. And looking back at the past, maybe my issues with my weight were a primal reason for majority of my relationship issues. A shaman friend once explained that relationships work only because both partners are willing to ‘give’ to each other and ‘share’ their lives together. And in my case, everything was so focused on me and my own issues, that there was no room for sharing (Aries is the sign of me-me-me), and hence I’ve come across men who were emotionally unavailable and had too many issues of their own as well, which brings us back to all the seeking daddy’s approval issues again.

In fact, now that I think about it, I’ve always sought after men who were ‘powerful’ and ‘strong’ and would just ‘take care of everything’ for me, while treating me like a princess. And isn’t that just me being unwilling to ‘take responsibility’ of my life?

I guess it’s high time that I start taking responsibility for not just my weight, but for my overall happiness and well being within my life. After all, if I’m not able to ‘take care’ of myself, who will?

CARD TWO: Why am I faced with such an issue within my life? – 6 of Wands

6 of Wands - Legacy of the Divine Tarot

Well, the first thing that came to my mind was ‘to discover I have the strength to overcome it, as well as, anything else’. Now that I ponder about it further, my weight and body image issues have in a way paralyzed me from doing a whole lot of things within my life. I guess in a way, this card is also reminding me that more than anything, I need to believe that I’m not just capable of healing my weight and body issues, but I’m also have the ability to achieve everything I desire. Perhaps the weight and body is just the channel through which the Universe is helping me develop my strengths and abilities. And once I’ve managed to heal them, I’ll be all the more motivated and ‘pumped’ to take on any challenge life throws my way, and ‘ride through life’ with my head held high. So in a way, my ‘battle’ is merely the ‘training ground’ for me to discover and ‘develop’ my ‘light’, and once I’ve done that, I can shine my ‘light’ with joy and pride, and not be plagued by things like guilt, fear, or just plain old ‘irresponsibility’. And if we think about it, health (physical, mental, psychosomatic) should always be a prime concern, if we’re not able to take care of ourselves, how can we possibly take care of anything else? So once I’m able to take care of something as ‘basic’ as my body, I’ll feel all the more liberated and empowered to live life to the fullest.

CARD THREE: What can I do to heal it? – 3 of Coins

3 of Coins - Legacy of the Divine Tarot

Going just by the ‘image’ of the card, take it nice and slow and ‘focus’! This is so fitting for me, because I’ve been through gawd knows how many fad diets n stuff. Not to mention, I go through these bouts where I work out like a dog, pushing myself further and further, and then just crash and burn and not even wanna wake up in the morning. Moderation has always been an alien concept whenever it’s come to my own personal goals. Plus this being a 3 (Empress) of Coins (Earth/Nurturing element), I gotta start learning to nurture and nourish my body with good ol fashioned TLC. So often I’m so quick to criticize and whine about it, that I’ve never really thanked or acknowledged the fact that despite all the things I put my body through, it’s always been good to me. If I truly wish to heal well, and heal wholly, I guess the most important thing for me to do is to be patient with myself along the process. I clearly have all the ‘tools’ to heal, now all I gotta do is apply them with love and patience! Easier said than done? Perhaps so, but hey, I need to start somewhere right?

CARD FOUR: What is helping me heal it? – The Magician

The Magician - Legacy of the Divine Tarot

Wow! Well, when I have The Magician on my side, how can I not heal? After all, isn’t Magician ruled by Mercury, the planet of health and healing among other things? I guess this is again a reminder, that I already have all the skills and abilities to overcome my issues with my weight and other things, I just need to channel them in a productive and empowering manner. Along with that, most importantly, TALK about it. Communicating can truly be a powerful force in the healing process, for once we’re able to ‘voice’ our issues, only then can we identify them clearly, as well as, help our loved ones understand what we’re dealing with, and thus win their love and support. Bottling things up only tends to make things worse, but the more we are able to let things out, and express ourselves freely, the more we’re releasing so much pent up stress and angst that just eats us away to our core. I guess maybe this is why I’m being very candid in my interpretation of this spread. Hopefully my expressing such a deep issue that’s affected me throughout my life, I could gain some source of love and support from all of you who are reading, as well as, maybe even help others who are going through similar issues such as I find comfort that they are not alone, and that by expressing themselves, they’ll find the love and support they need to help them with their healing process.

CARD FIVE: What is the obstacle in my healing journey? – King of Wands

King of Wands - Legacy of the Divine Tarot

Fucking Courts! (lol). Oy, trust a court card to appear here!

Well, now that I think of it, this card in a way could indicate my ‘daddy issues’, as highlighted by The Emperor (plus my dad is a fire sign – go figure) coming in up as obstacles. And boy, do they ever! Especially the bit with self-sabotaging my own progress out of the fear of not being able to handle life without obsessing about my weight and body. And since courts are also aspects of our own psyche, this card indicates that my falling back on the old destructive patterns would be quite a major hindrance in my healing journey. Furthermore, the King could also represent me having extremely high expectations of wanting to achieve the most ideal weight and the perfect 10 body. I so gotta be realistic, and remember that at the end of the day, my own personal health and well being is what matters, not some superficial ideal I try my best to live up to, only to end up losing more than what I bargained for (and not the weight). Also, my need to ‘rush’ through things and see ‘fast results’ would just end up being an obstacle rather than a boon to my healing journey.

CARD SIX: Advice – 6 of Coins

6 of Coins - Legacy of the Divine Tarot

The minute I saw this card, for some reason, I was reminded of the song ‘No one is alone’ from the musical Into the Woods. I now realize that there are people who are willing to help me along the way, to give me the love and support I need, and that I don’t need to be alone in all of this. After all, I’m not the only person in the world with weight and body image issues. Only through sharing, can I not only relieve myself off all the burdens that are more or less self-imposed upon me, but also open myself to receiving a helping hand. And sometimes we can receive the help we need from the most surprising sources.

Along with that, I feel this card is also telling me to be more ‘balanced’ with myself. Taking extreme actions and drastic measures wouldn’t really help me, as they would only throw me off. Starving myself only to binge later on, or working out excessively only to crash and burn later; they just deter me away from my path, making it all the more hard for me to heal. As mentioned earlier, the key is to nurture and nourish myself with love, and lovingly encourage myself rather than be self-critical and exceedingly harsh. Since when does self-criticism ever get anything accomplished?

Furthermore, I just noticed that there is no ‘water’ in this entire spread. Come to think of it, I am mainly an emotional eater, and majority of my binges and other self-destructive habits arise due to various emotional triggers. And even though I’ve come across so many ‘Moon in Taurus’ people who are anything but ‘emotionally balanced’, I need to start becoming all the more ‘practical’ and not let my emotions get the better of me. Exercise plenty of self-discipline within my life, but not in a harsh manner. Self-discipline can be inculcated through loving and nurturing means. Just need to figure out how to do so.

And finally, and most importantly, I need to believe that I deserve this! I need to believe that I am worthy of having a healthy body, as well as, I am worthy of leading a healthy life. Only when I do believe this, can I allow myself to manifest it.

CARD SEVEN: Result of my Healing Journey – Ace of Coins

Ace of Coins - Legacy of the Divine Tarot

Wow! I guess there is hope for me after all. After all, the Ace is the spirit of the element of ‘earth’, which among other things, rules the body. If I’m being extremely optimistic, I would say this card would mean that I will achieve that perfect body I’ve only dreamed about. However, being a realistic Capricorn, I feel this card is saying that once I’ve managed to get over myself and taken full responsibility for my life (especially my weight and body issues), I will achieve a spiritual connection with my body like I never had before. I’d finally enjoy the body I was born with, and finally feel ‘connected’ with it, and most importantly, love it wholly. In a way, this would also indicate me being able to begin a new chapter in my life, where not only am I able to take active responsibility for every area of my life, but where I feel comfortable, nourished, and secure within myself, and not feel the need to seek validation or approval from anyone else. I’d finally be free to be me, and live my life to its fullest potential.

Extra Notes:-

If we check out the elemental balance of this spread, there is an excess of Fire and Earth elements along with a deficiency of Air and a complete absence of Water. The excess of Earth represent things like getting stuck in a rut, lack of stimulation, heaviness, sluggishness, and to some extent, even melancholy. The excess of Fire represent things like burnout,and stress due to excessive pressure. In a way, it’s a combination of the two that cause me to get demotivated along my healing journey. Like mentioned before, I go through bouts where I not only eat scarcely, but also work out excessively. And due to all the self-imposed pressure to be thin and have an ‘ideal body’, I ‘burn out’ and then get all sluggish and lazy, and binge feeling all the more heavy and ‘eh’ about myself and everything else. I try snapping out of it, but it’s like a constant cycle, which now I realize I need to get out of.

The deficiency of Air represents listlessness, fatigue, dullness, stagnation, blocked communication, as well as, an inability to express oneself. As mentioned in the reading, I need to learn how to communicate my issues, and just NOW, I realize that part of the reason I find it hard to ‘talk’ about it, is because I feel a deep sense of shame and guilt regarding my struggle. Why? Well, part of it could be that I was raised to believe it’s not the done thing to ‘air dirty laundry’, as well as, displaying vulnerability is a sign of weakness (all part of my ‘daddy issues as represented by The Emperor). I realize now that such thought patterns and belief systems are truly limiting me, as well as, blocking me all the more further from my own ability to heal. Along with all this, the absence of Water represents me being ever so harsh and critical with myself about every little mistake I make. I so need to relax and be easy with myself and learn to flow with life.

Numerically, the number 6 has appeared twice within the reading (6 of Wands and 6 of Coins). 6 being a number of Harmony and Balance, while Wands and Coins, represent Fire and Earth, the excessive elements within the reading. This clearly indicates a need for creating an ‘inner balance’ in all things ‘excess’ within my life. Also, in Ayurvedic Astrology, Venus (which is number 6 according to Chaldean numerology, and the ruler of my own astrological chart) represents the constitution of Kapha (Water +Air) – the elements that are absent within the spread. So in a way, the presence of the two 6’s represents a need for me to balance and harmonize all four elements within me – Fire, Earth, Air, and Water.

End Note:

Not that I doubt the messages of the cards, nor do I have any qualms with the way I’ve interpreted them. But sometimes, the heart just wants a ‘confirmation’ of sorts from the Universe that we’ve ‘got’ the message it’s trying to give us through the cards.  Especially when an issue is so important and close to us, we just need that sense of affirmation! So in this case, I divine the Quint card, i.e., the Major Arcana card derived by adding all the numeric values of the cards. Since there is a ‘Court Card’ within the reading, I do not include a numerical value for it. Primarily because there are conflicting theories regarding the numeric value of a Court Card (one would make Kings 14, while the other would assign 2), and that would just end up confusing me all the more. So to make life simpler, I choose to follow the belief that courts are ‘beyond’ numeric values, and thus do not include them while calculating my Quit Card. (Yes, I promise in the future, I will post a complete post all about Quint Cards).

So in case of this reading, we have – The Emperor (4) + 6 of Wands (6) + 3 of Coins (3) + The Magician (1) + 6 of Coins (6) + Ace of Coins (1) = 4 + 6 +3 + 1 + 6 + 1 = 21 = The World. And well… A picture can speak a thousand words 🙂

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The World - Legacy of the Divine Tarot

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What could be a better ‘confirmation’ from the Universe than this?

I hope you’ve enjoyed the reading, and I hope The Healing Cross spread helps you as much as it has helped me.

Love and Blessings

Zorian

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All images are from the Legacy of Divine Tarot by Ciro Marchetti.

~ “Poetry is the synthesis of hyacinths and biscuits” ~

— Carl Sandburg

This step is to synthesize everything we’ve learned in Steps 5 & 6 – number, suit, element, and mode – into simple statements. In other words, we get to have a lil fun and mix and match the keywords in order to create mini-meanings or aphorisms to help us out in not only understanding our chosen card better, but also apply them when the card appears in our readings, as we seem fit.

The best part about this technique is that not only can it help us whenever we’re having intuitive dry-spells, but it can even help us with cards that have unillustrated minors that make it hard to read with ‘intuitively’, as well as, whenever we need to do a ‘quickie’ reading where we need ‘instant answers’ without being too ‘therapeutic’. For those of you who do the whole ‘psychic fair circuit’, as well as, those of you who read at parties, events, metaphysical stores, salons, etc, where you have to stick to a fixed amount of time per seeker, and wish not to be too drained at the end of the day; this reading technique can prove surprisingly useful.

What’s even more cool about it is that you can create an infinite amount of aphorisms and statements, as you can mix the keywords in any possible combination, as it suits the reading. So you can even create a set of ‘ready-made’ interpretations for your own personal convenience. However, I feel that it’s important that I mention that the cards are incredibly dynamic, and while this is a good step to follow, never ignore your own personal intuitive impulses at the time of a reading!

And with that, let’s see how we can synthesize the various structural aspects of the chosen card – 6 of Swords.

In this exercise, I’m making it like a mathematical formula (6 + Swords =…). 6 being a variable that contains all the keywords associated with 6, including the fact that it’s ruled by Venus; Swords being another variable that contains all the keywords associated with that suit, including the fact that it’s associated with the element of Air. And since it’s belongs to the Minor Arcana, one of the Modes of a Tarot Deck, all the resulting aphorisms are connected to the “what?” in a situation, and the “what action to take?” For more details on these, please check the previous step.

6 of Swords - Legacy of the Divine Tarot

6 of Swords

6 (Hamony) + Swords (Thoughts) = Harmony of Thoughts

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6 (Balance) + Swords (Mental) = Mental Balance

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6 (Perfection) + Swords (Planning) = Perfectly laid Plans

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6 (Union) + Sword (Mindset) = Unity of mindsets

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6 (Beauty) + Swords (Mind) = A Beautiful Mind

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6 (Fairness) + Swords (Decision) = A fair decision

(Make your decisions fairly; A decision shall be made that’s fair to everyone)

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6 (Emotions) + Swords (Detachment) = Emotional Detachment

(In order to move on we need to detach ourselves emotionally from the past)

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6 (Pleasantries) + Swords (Cutting) = Cutting through the Pleasantries

(Cut the crap and get down to business)

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6 (Yin) + Swords (Yang) = Yin & Yang

(A balance of our feminine emotional self and masculine logical self)

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6 (Idealism) + Swords (Ideas) = Idealistic Ideas

(Through our idealistic ideas, we can create a revolution, and move forward in our personal evolution)

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6 (Discrimination) + Swords (Criticism) = Critical Discrimination

(After all, Uncle Al did call this card ‘Science’)

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6 (Reunion) + Swords (Letters/Communication) = Invitation to a Reunion

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6 (Resolution) + Swords (Battle) = Resolving Battles

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6 (Moist) + Swords (Air) = Humidity 😀

(Yes, I was once asked on Radio to give a weather forecast. I ‘winged’ it in this manner, and it worked)

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6 (Vanity) + Swords (Cruel) = Vanity and Cruelty go hand in hand.

(If we think about it, a lot of people who are exceedingly vain have quite a cruel streak (Mirror Mirror on the wall…). And yes, this step can also be used to elaborate the ‘shadow’ aspect of a card)

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Wow! Just by synthesizing the various structural aspects of the card, we’ve managed to come up with 15 unique aphorisms which we can use with the card! See, just by understanding the various structural aspects of a card, we can learn so much about it, as well as, be able to create our own interpretations, and apply them to a reading where it seems fit. Some of them, I just created on the spot, because they just ‘hit’ me at the moment. That just goes to show how ‘intuitive flashes of inspiration’ can strike us even when doing something as ‘mundane’ as mixing and matching keywords to create aphorisms.

We shall next see how we can use our intuitive abilities and create metaphors for our chosen card in Step 8: Metaphor.

Till then, have a lovely week ahead.

Love and Blessings

Zorian

PS: Hey, be a sport, try this out and see how you can synthesize the various aspects of the 6 of Swords (or whichever card you’re doing your own personal Journey through Mary K. Greer’s 21 Ways to Read a Tarot Card), and please share them with us here. I’d so totally love to read them. You could just end up teaching us all something new!

~ “Fucking Courts!” ~

—  Moi ^_^

Yes, I still say that whenever too many court cards appear within a reading. Especially whenever I’m just doing a simple no-frills 3 card reading, and two (and sometimes all three of them) are court cards. Earlier, I used to think it’s only me who had trouble reading court cards, but it turns out, virtually everyone I’ve come across (seasoned professionals, novices, and even Tarot Authors) have issues with the courts. So trust, me, you’re not alone in your frustration regarding interpreting court cards. However, if you say you don’t need any help regarding court cards and that they’re a breeze to read through, then you’re either the great grand master of all things Tarot and should have a shrine built in your honor… or, you’re just a cocky liar, so get off your high horse already 😛

Why are the courts so F*d up?

The answer to that comes from how Tarot evolved. You see, earlier on, when virtually every deck was a TDM (Tarot De Marseilles) or a TDM clone, the courts were all of a set role – King, Queen, Knight, and Page. Very simple, very feudalistic. Kings were all matured/married men (though so many married men I’ve come across are anything but mature), Queens were mature/married women (ditto), Knights were single unmarried men (read horny pigs that shag everything that moves – oh don’t gimme that look, where else do you think the whole ‘Knight in shining armor’ fantasy came from), and Pages were either children or young unmarried women (goes to show the pittiful state of a young single girl back in the day. Come to think of it, such a mindset is still followed in many cultures of the world, but let’s get back to the subject). Everything was fine and dandy, as psychology wasn’t yet created, and minors were all unillustrated pips (yes, I know there are exceptions, but work with me here) so courts totally were used to represent people (‘I see a tall dark stranger in your future’).

Then in the 19th century, The Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn came into the picture and began messing around with our limited feudalistic courts. By stuffing all their esoterica (that has oft been criticized to begin with) into the Tarot, they began assigning elements to not only the suits of the minors, but also to the ranks of the courts. Queens were water and Pages were earth (trust a bunch of stuffy old men to call earth a ‘step-element’ and assign it to a Page – as an earth sign, I take offense to the degradation of my element). The Knight on his fancy horse was fire (read testostrone fueled) and the Kings were assigned air for their logic and reasoning skills (as if!).

However, while this was assigned, some dude in a tacky traditional robe (yeah, str8 men have no concept of fabric and design) must have gone all, “Hey, shouldn’t fire get a ‘higher’ rank? After all, fire is the primary consort of water, and thus it would be more fitting if the Queens consort was fire instead of air.” And so all the GD honchos decided to ‘promote’ the Knight to King (they actually penciled it in on their existing decks), while the King got ‘demoted’ to Prince or Son. The Queens remained queens, and to create a more balance in the genders, renamed the Pages, Princess or Daughter (woo-hoo, a step in the right direction for women’s lib!).

Not everyone was happy with this. Arthur Edward Waite (who shall now be referred to as Uncle Art for short) and Aleister Crowley (Uncle Al), who went on to create their respective Tarot decks that laid the foundation for the evolution of modern Tarot, had their own take on the courts.

Uncle Art was a stuffy old soul (have you ever read his works? Snoozefest!) and decided to go with the Traditional style of the TDM Courts, and thus reinstating the King and the Knight back in their respective positions, and stripping away the Page off his Princess title.

Uncle Al was a… well, a ‘colorful’ character, and decided to take the GD court model a step further by retaining the Knights original title, and making him the highest station and demoted the King to Prince.

(Dysfunctional) Family Dynamics

In the TDM and RWS (Rider Waite Smith – A Tarot Deck created by Uncle Art and Pamela ‘Pixie’ Coleman Smith) decks,  the court ranks are based on the royal households of Europe’s feudal period. The King was the absolute ruler of his domain, which he inherited from his father. His consort was his Queen, who most likely married the dude for political and societal reasons.  The Knight is either the king’s military commander or an ambitious young vassal. He  could even be the royal heir to the throne and thus proving his prowess through tournaments and battles (and sowing his wild oats into all the young maidens). The Page was either their household servant or foster child, that lived with them and attended their needs (developing a major Cinderella complex while cleaning their ‘royal thrones’ every morning).

In the Thoth Tarot (Uncle Al’s deck which he created with Lady Freida Harris), the Knight and Queen were the primary couple with two children, the Prince and the Princess. Crowley’s family model was part based on pre-christian pagan cultures, and part based on fairytales – Once upon a time, a long long time ago, the world was kinda messed up. Since communities were so far off and isolated, people would end up shagging sheep and/or their cousins to get their kicks. As we all know, children born out of incest and inbreeding just tend to be anything but normal, and when too many of such kind are born, the kingdoms would just dwindle on virtually all levels. The Royal Family was treated like divinity, mainly cause inbreeding never occured, and thus they remained all the more healthier, vigorous, and ‘potent’ than their royal subjects. Thus their vitality were directly linked to the land and their community.

The King was a wise and powerful ruler. However, age caught up on him, and he became infertile. Trying to remain youthful, he still tried to do all sorts of crazy things to prove he was still ‘da man’. In the process of doing so, he ended up throwing out his back, causing him to remain bedridden and unable to really get it up (this is what happens when you decide to pump iron instead of opt for yoga and tai chi). This lead to the land drying up and eventually becoming a wasteland. Upon seeing this happen, big scary monsters began terrorizing the people, as the knew the King was powerless to do anything.

The Queen would sigh and cry, “Oh why is this happening to us? Why oh why oh why?” and she would beg and pray for someone to come along and rescue them. And hopefully be cute enough to marry their daughter who just sits all day in her room singing aimlessly about being ‘awoken’. (Taylor Swift anyone?)

Then one day, a strong handsome and very virile Knight was galloping along, till he heard the most beautiful voice in the world. So captivated by the siren call, that he changed course and began galloping towards the voice. Upon reaching the kingdom, he realized that the voice was coming from the Princesses chambers, and upon gazing at her, he fell in love with her at first sight. But as soon as he saw the state of the land, and the fact that a ravaging monster was breathing fire and stomping around innocent inbred peasants, he boldly went on to slay the beast and save the kingdom. For his courage and strength, he was given the hand of the princess to marry. The Old King and Queen gave up their throne and took to the fancy old folks home in the pre-christian Boca Raton, while the princess went onto becoming the new Queen, with the Knight as her consort. They got it on like a pair of wild monkeys, and gave birth to two children, the Prince and the Princess, and the land was again fertile and abundant. The Prince would eventually be set out to follow daddy’s footsteps to rescue another land in turmoil and rescue it, while the Princess would be groomed to become the future Queen.

And they lived happily ever after.

Oy! And I thought my family was messed up.

That’s all well and nice, but how do I read the effin’ courts?

Well, that’s the tricky part. You see, due to the differences between the RWS, GD, and Thoth systems of court cards, we’re all left confused with the question ‘which one do we follow?’ One way of going about it is to read solely with either a TDM, RWS, or Thoth deck and stick with that system and see how it works for you. That’s all fine and dandy till the point you’re viewing the courts as just ‘people’. However, as Tarot has evolved, we have discovered that beyond mere prediction, Tarot can also be used as a therapeutic tool, enabling us to get a deeper and more profound insight into ourselves and the world around us (and even the universe), and thus, we have come to discover that Court Cards, along with representing other people in our lives, also represent different parts of ourselves. Our appearance can fit in with one card, while our emotional side could fit better with another. Hell, even the way we communicate, make love, achieve a goal, and the various stages of our own lives, can be represented by different court cards. And if that didn’t make matters more complicated, Court Cards can also represent situation (yes, situations) in our lives, where either we have to behave like the court-persona, or the situation itself is a manifestation of that particular court card.

And to make matters worse, different decks offer different perspectives on the courts. Some of them even try to combine the TDM/RWS style with the Thoth systems! And while the GD/Thoth systems have a long list of various esoteric correspondences assigned to each court card, they some how don’t totally fit in well with the TDM/RWS courts, thus sparking public (and private) debate on how to merge the two systems, as well as, how to apply them universally, so that no matter what deck we read with, it all applies therein. And don’t get me started on how all the therapeutic psychological correspondences have been assigned to each court card, that’s a whole different can of worms altogether.

I’ve tried my best to create a set of keywords for the ranks of the courts, so as to share with you my own personal system of handling the courts, as well as, offer another perspective on the Tarot Courts. I am not saying this is the absolute right way! Nor am I saying that I stand by this completely. I’m a human being, I evolve with the times, and always keep an open mind for new theories and practices. For now, this is what works for me, and this is what helps me interpret the damned courts at the end of the day. If it helps you, fabulous! If it confuses you, I sincerely apologize, and if you disagree with my assignations, please feel free to share your thoughts.

But before we get to those, let’s take a brief look at how we can interpret court cards within a reading:-

  • A person in our life, identified by their physical attributes, profession, role, or even personality type and astrological sign.
  • An aspect of our own personality, style, attitude, or role we play.
  • A relationship we have with people within our life.
  • A spiritual influence at work in our lives.
  • Events and situations (past, present, and future).
  • Times or seasons of the year.
  • Qualities we need to cultivate within ourselves.

How do we know when to interpret a court as one of the above? Well, the answer is simple in theory but complex in application, and I’m sorry, but I’m not able to provide a better answer at this moment – Trust your intuition and go with it.

And with that, I present to you the Keywords for the various ranks of the Tarot Court

  • KINGS (GD/Thoth Emperor/Prince)

Malik. Re. Roi. Lord. Chief. Patriarch. Master. Father. Guardian. Man. Sage. Resolving. Exemplar. Shaman. Companion.

    • Traditional Rank: Mature or Married Man
    • Element: Airy part of the Element
    • Polarity: Mature Yang Energy
    • Astrology: Fixed Signs – (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius)
    • Tetragrammaton: Vau (Intellect)
    • Qabalistic World: Yetzirah (Mind)
    • Sephirah: Tiphareth (Beauty)
    • Corresponding Minors: The Sixes
    • MBTI Personality Axis: Extraverted (E) Judgers (J)
    • Craft Standing: Master (of the outer, public). Decision Maker.
    • Function: Direction. Authority.
    • Service: Administer. Conserver
    • Area of Society: Government
    • Social Function: Father; consort.
    • Developmental Stage: Fixed, static, or out-moded ideas. Result.
    • Developmental Function: Finality. Completion. Letting Go. Closure.
    • Keywords: Competence. Authority. Respect. Decision Making. Mastery. Leadership. Prowess.

 

  • QUEENS

Regina. Dame. Reina. Lady. Matriarch. Mistress. Goddess. Mother. Guide. Woman. Lover. Sibyl. Lover. Priestess.

    • Traditional Rank: Mature or Married Woman
    • Element: Watery part of the Element
    • Polarity: Mature Yin Energy
    • Astrology: Cardinal Signs – (Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn)
    • Tetragrammaton: He (Emotions)
    • Qabalistic World: Briah (Heart/Soul)
    • Sephirah: Binah (Understanding)
    • Corresponding Minors: The Threes
    • MBTI Personality Axis: Introverted (I) Judgers (J)
    • Craft Standing: Master (of the inner, interpersonal). Maintainer.
    • Function: Support. Foundation.
    • Service: Nurturer. Caregiver.
    • Area of Society: Religion.
    • Social Function: Mother; consort.
    • Developmental Stage: Devotional and developmental ideas. Motivation.
    • Developmental Function: Maturity. Competency. Fulfillment. Authority. Skill. Understanding.
    • Keywords: Understanding. Persuasion. Communication. Teaching. Nurturance. Emotional Awareness. Creativity. Intuition. Leadership.

 

  • KNIGHTS (GD Kings)

Na’ib. Cavaliere. Cavalier. Caballo. Warrior. Son. Brother. Seeker. Angel. Man. Dancer. Awakening. La Place. Totem.

    • Traditional Rank: Young Single Man
    • Element: Fiery part of the Element
    • Polarity: Immature Yang Energy
    • Astrology: Mutable Signs – (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces)
    • Tetragrammaton: Yod (Will)
    • Qabalistic World: Atziluth (Spirit)
    • Sephirah: Chokmah (Wisdom)
    • Corresponding Minors: The Twos
    • MBTI Personality Axis: Extraverted (E) Perceivers (P)
    • Craft Standing: Journeyman. Explorer.
    • Function: Travel. Departure. Change of Residence.
    • Service: Action. Movement.
    • Area of Society: History and National Characteristics
    • Social Function: Adventurer.
    • Developmental Stage: Revolutionary ideas. Overturns outmoded effects.
    • Developmental Function: Focus. Intensity. Involvement. Directness.
    • Keywords: Energy. Passion. Motion Towards Goal. Intention. Focus. Single-mindedness. Idealism. Vitality. Lust for Life.

 

  • PAGES (GD/Thoth Princess)

Thani. Valet. Apprentice. Servant. Child. Daughter. Princess. Elemental. Maiden. Novice. Sister. Seer. Muse. Innocence.

    • Traditional Rank: Young Single Woman or Child/Youth.
    • Element: Earthy part of the Element
    • Polarity: Immature Yin Energy
    • Astrology: The Seed/Root of the Elements
    • Tetragrammaton: He – Final (Senses)
    • Qabalistic World: Assiah (Body)
    • Sephirah: Malkuth (Kingdom)
    • Corresponding Minors: The Tens
    • MBTI Personality Axis: Introverted (I) Perceivers (P)
    • Craft Standing: Student. Apprentice. Servant
    • Function: News. Study.
    • Service: Catalyst of Change.
    • Area of Society: Arts and Science.
    • Social Function: Messenger. Envoy.
    • Developmental Stage: New Ideas. Possibilities
    • Developmental Function: Risk. Faith. Setting Out.
    • Keywords: Curiosity. Hope. Innocence. Opening. Trust. Beginnings. Novelty. Growth. Study. Apprenticeship.

And with that, I conclude my introduction to the Tarot Court. I hope you’ve enjoyed the journey so far. I shall be providing keywords for each Suit Family in subsequent postings. Thank you for bearing with my rant 😀

Love and Blessings

Zorian

PS: I wrote this post in the spirit of humor and promoting understanding. I do not wish to offend anyone at all with anything that is written here. There are far too many ‘scholarly’ works upon the Tarot Courts that provide way more in-depth info than I have, and though not all of it would match entirely what I’ve posted here, please understand that this is my understanding of the courts, and how I work with them, and how they seem to work with me.